i dunoe wad it is...
i'm actually quite comfortable wif my current routine..thou it does feel like precious time is slippin right thru my fingers, i shd be doin smt to grasp it,empower it..but no..i actually enjoy being in this solitude, it almost feels like i'm in my own solitary world, i like my solitude, my me time, i dun hav to put on a mask and pretend tt i'm this and tt in front of eveyrone else, its nice to be alone sometimes, nt tt socialising is bad, i like it, but it juz gets tiring sometimes u noe..coz it isn't juz abt you anymore wen u're ard ppl, i think there's smt wrong wif me...but it neva felt tt way wif you,i neva felt it was tirin to be ard you, coz i neva had to pretend. you've seen e ugliest and most unflatterin sides of me. i doubt my frens will eva wanna see me tt way, nt tt i'd even dare to reveal tt part of me to em, they'd juz hate me, they prob can't stand me en. but nt you. i've act stayed home fr almost e entire week,quite a feat huh, i didn't bother to go fr dance camps or e outings wif my frens...you're probably angry wif me rite now, coz i noe you'd wan me to go out there n be happy, but i juz can't, not for now at least..i dunoe wad it is, juz call it my emo phase no. 2

i love you still thou, u noe, i've neva stopped loving you

hey baby,
i'm so happy that you blogged! you're so adorable! thank you sweetheart! you shd blog more often ya! you blogged at that lan shop near ur camp rite? the town...darling,i miss you so so much! i feel so lonely now, and empty, i feel like smt's wrong, smt tt i can't quite put my finger on..it's this heaviness in my chest,this uneasiness tt's weighin me down,i juz wanna breathe wif ease,i dunoe wad's wrong wif me,smt is juz wrong...and i juz wish you were here to make me feel better, you make me feel safe,and protected..i miss you darlin,i juz wan you beside me again...did i tell u wad a slob i've become! its all your fault! i've been eatin a lot eva since you came to visit really! i'm gettin fat! i think you're gonna get fat too! coz wen it gets cold there,u're so gonna eat more korean snacks! like the chip choc cookies! and instant noodles right from e packet! and you're juz gonna fall aslp while standin up doin guard duty, and brusin your knees coz you buckle and hit em against e wall! hahah! pls stay alert fr me sweetheart! be safe fr me! i hope you rem to apply some lipbalm coz ur lips r gonna get dry and chapped..stay warm too ya,i wanna see you in ur russian fur cap, i dun think it's gay shit! i think u'd lk very cute in it,coz you lk so adorable wif ur beanie alr! you korean army guys r gay shit! haha! did you bring in ur skin n lotion!? gees...hahah! darlin ar,come back soon coz babylove misses her pupbear terribly..
i love you,always

i'll be back real soon!!

hello ho liting dear!!! oOoOo... it's my first time blogging. heh! why are u using chim words now? i cant understand them n i have no way to find out the meaning. what are u trying to do?? pricking my ego?!?! ok whatever(wadeva for u). yup time jus flew by like tat. i'm abu to book in now. OMG... how am i going to stand waking up at 3 am?!?! it's getting freaking cold in the night too!!! can u imagine me leaning against the wall stoning buffed up with 5 layers of clothes n i wouldnt be wearing a helmet, i'll be wearing a fur cap. u know the ones the russians wear?? so gay right. let me tell you wat i heard. 1st layer= underwear, 2nd layer= another set of underwear, 3rd layer= camo uniform, 4th layer= kk i dun know the names in english. u get the idea now??? well i was so happy to see u! like i missed u so much! n i finally got to hold ur hands n hug u! it was so nice to have seen u even though it was only a short time. hahahahaha!!! i suddebly remed how stoopid u were when i first called u. like " freaking notice the phone no.!!!!" n u didnt even get angry tat i kept calling u dumb!! hahahah! u only gave me ur "i'm a poor thing" tone of voice. it was so so damn cute! i'll miss tat voice too! we had so much fun at sentosa! i havent had tat much fun in a really long time baby, thanks for planning it. i actually did plan on bringing u to sentosa but i jus didnt know how k. u had ur frens to help. thank you the romantic dinner on the cable car baby! i know u spent a lot effort n time!!! it was so romantic until someone had to keep finishing the water n farting. n we both know deep down WHO did them to ruin an otherwise romantic dinner! OoOoOoo... i dun wan to stop writing but i have to go soon. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. i miss u loads honey n i love u a lot more. pls study hard n take care of yourself k. consistent work baby!!! 1 step at a time, then u can have it easy k. dun be stoopid n feel insecure n stuff cos i love u! work hard n play hard! oh btw i dare u to go to a movie alone! tell me what it feels like. hahahahahahaha! seriously. some peeps may tink you're weird n a loner. ByEbYe!!! i still rem u telling me byebye looks cuter than bye bye. i love u! byebye!! see u real soon!

honey, i woke up this morning noeing you're no longer here..the past few days seem to have passed in a flurry,a phatasmagoria of fun filled days, lazy moments, our stoopid squabbles intertwined and blended into one indistinguishable perfect dream, it felt almost too good to be true..

i rem wen you called me on sunday morning,i almost cldn't believe it wen you told me u were back..i miss you so so much alr baby, you're so adorable baby, i can't believe u're actually subcumbing to peer pressure in there sweetheart,well you only hav urself to blame fr goin overboard with the boastin..hahah! men and their ego! honey ar! it's ok,wen u're back e next time we'll go on a shoppin spree ya!! i love you i love you! you'll always hav my heart too

sigh..i wonder why you still hav nt called me, it's alr a sat.. pouts..i thot your 100 days confinement period is up alr?? do you noe e last time you called me it was the 15th of aug, it's exactly one mth since i last heard ur voice..sigh, i miss you terribly...
i dunoe if i shd post e letters out yet either since i dunoe if you're still gonna be at e dmz, the add you gave me is e add correspondin to ur campsite rite? or no? or is it our granpapa's place? will you still be situtated at the border thru out e next two yrs en?? there's so many things i wanna noe,and need to noe honey, i juz want to hear your voice...

i wanna visit you darlin, if only you cld come back, how i wish i cld fly over to see you baby, i miss you so so much! will you be able to come out next june? wad if you can't?? i can't even think wad'd happen en, i think i'd ask my dajie to fly over wif me to see you en! e one yr mark is all i'm lkin at now! time is passing so agonizingly slow wo you, the days seem like years in your absence...darlin, i love you so so much, i juz wanna see you now!

i'm feelin so sian now! i hav phy test on mon! gees, phy is so horrible! esp wif tt irritating china prof zao yang! he's so angsty alla time! like some pms freak liddat! and i've lifescience test on mon too! materials science on tues! and photography on wed! busy busy wk! but i'm havin a one wk recess after tt! if only u cld fly back en! or me goin over! i wanna see you! i wanna see you! do you feel e same darlin?

i love you pupbear! always!

Darling,
i reckon you'd be out really soon! so maybe you can finally read all the previous entries!
sorry if they sound so depressing and sad,but they're true reflections of my feelings en..
baby,thank you for writin to me, you hav no idea how much happier you've made me, your letters were the most honest form of flattery to me, your simple words of sincerity touched my soul, it almost felt like u were there right beside me...you still noe me so well darling, you noe tt i've a habit of fallin aslp on buses, i still do. you noe tt i enjoy dressing in many diff styles, i still do andro btw honey. i miss you so so much baby, i've neva felt such deep longing, such intense forlorn...sometimes i'll look up at e clear blue sky and feel e warmth on my skin and rem your scent, tt goofy smile of yours, your big hair, your red lips, your single eyelid eyes, do you still smell e same sweetheart? sometimes all i wish for is to bury myself in your arms once more, crumble in your strong embrace,snuggle up to you and bask in your scent and warmth...i love you daring,always..
sometimes i find tt even these three simple words 'i love you' dun suffice in conveying this surge of happiness tt swells in my heart weneva i think of you, it's this overwhelming feeling tt overflows and floods my entire soul with such sweet intoxicating instatiable longing,it consumes me with such ferocious passion till i'm throughly spent and yet i find myself wanting more, more of you.. honey baby, i guess these three words will juz havta do fr now coz i dunoe how else to tell you simply tt " i love you"